The 88 decisions that must be made when someone dies

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When someone dies, there are at least 88 decisions and action steps that need to be handled by survivors. Many of the decisions can be made in advance, which is why making prearranged funeral or cremation plans can be so helpful.

Gathering Information The first set of tasks involves gathering basic information known as vital statistics. This information is needed for burial and cremation permits, and filing the death certificate with the State. A death certificate must be issued before matters of an estate can be handled. This information needs to be carefully verified and provided to the funeral home, who will submit the information to the State and secure the death certificates for you.

Notifications You will want to notify a number of people as soon as possible when a loved one dies, including relatives, doctors, the funeral home and cemetery, your loved one’s friends, employer, and professionals like their insurance agent, attorney and accountant or executor of the estate. Additionally, it is good to notify any organizations they belonged to, and if you can access their social media accounts, you may put out a message there as well. Having these individuals and organization written down in one place ahead of time makes this project much easier.

Funeral Arrangements After you select a funeral home, there will be many decisions to make concerning services and memorials. This includes the location and time of the visitation and ceremony, and the order and components of the service, including those who will speak or perform, special music or readings, flowers, military funeral honors, etc. You will also select merchandise such as a casket, urn or vault. The funeral director will help you write an obituary about your loved one’s life for the newspaper and/or sharing online. Additionally, you can select a charitable organization to receive memorial donations in your loved one’s memory. Cemetery arrangements will also need to be made concerning burial or inurnment.

Hospitality If you have family members and friends traveling in for the services, there will be a number of things to coordinate with them, including lodging, transportation, meals and childcare. You will no doubt receive many phone calls, cards and social media messages of support, so you will want to keep track of these and respond when you are able.

On the day of the visitation and services, you will meet with the funeral home staff to ensure that everything is ready and then receive your guests. After services conclude, you may have additional hospitality activities related to family and friends who have gathered.

Financial Matters There will be financial matters to settle with the funeral home, cemetery (if applicable) and others who assist with the services, including officiants, musicians, florists and caterers. In addition, your loved one may have mortgage payments, auto loans, phone and utility bills, healthcare expenses and other financial matters to settle, which can take some time. You will need to collect additional documents, noted below, to establish your right to make decisions related to property and benefits.

If this all sounds overwhelming, it definitely can be. That is why we recommend planning out as much in advance as possible. You don’t have to wait until you are elderly or ill to make these plans – it is really never too early to get started. Once you get the basics established, it is simple to update your information when life circumstances or your preferences change.

Below is the full list of the 88 Decisions that must be made when someone dies. As we mentioned, many of these matters can be handled in advance, and you will find these noted with an asterisk. Please give us a call today to see how we can help you create an advance funeral or cremation plan. Funding options are available, or you can simply make a written record of your wishes. We are always here to help.

I. Secure Vital Statistics (Required for burial permit)

*1. ____Name, home address and telephone number

*2. ____How long in state

*3. ____Name of business, address and telephone number

*4. ____Occupation and title

*5. ____Social Security number

*6. ____War Veterans Serial number

*7. ____Date of Birth

*8. ____Place of Birth

*9. ____Citizenship

*10. ____Father’s name

*11. ____Father’s birthplace

*12. ____Mother’s maiden name

*13. ____Mother’s birthplace

*14. ____Religious name (if any)

II. Pay Some or All of the Following

*15. ____Family burial estate

*16. ____Memorials

*17. ____Funeral home

*18. ____Interment service

19. ____Clergy

20. ____Florist

21. ____Clothing

22. ____Transportation

23. ____Telephone bill

24. ____Food

25. ____Doctors’ bills

26. ____Home healthcare bills

27. ____Hospital and ambulance bills

28. ____Medicine and drug bills

29. ____Other current and urgent bills (mortgage or rent, taxes, installment payments)

III. Collect Documents (Required to establish rights for insurance, pensions, social security, ownership, relationship, etc.)

*30. ____Will

*31. ____Legal proof of age or birth certificate

*32. ____Social Security card or number

*33. ____Marriage license

*34. ____Citizenship papers

*35. ____Insurance policies (life, health and accident, property)

*36. ____Bank books

*37. ____Deeds to property

*38. ____Bill of sale of car

*39. ____Income tax returns, receipts or canceled checks

*40. ____Veterans discharge certificate

*41. ____Disability claims

*42. ____Cemetery Certificate of Ownership

IV. Decisions and Arrangements

*43. ____Select funeral home

*44. ____Choose funeral service and burial/cremation options

*45. ____Select burial estate location and which space to open

*46. ____Choose memorial type and inscription

*47. ____Select casket and/or urn type

*48. ____Select clothing for deceased

*49. ____Choose vault or sectional crypt

*50. ____Select type of service (religious, military, fraternal)

*51. ____Choose special selection from scriptures

52. ____Select clergy to officiate

*53. ____Select place where service is to be held

54. ____Select time for funeral service

*55. ____Decide charitable organization to which donations are suggested in memory of deceased

56. ____Provide information for eulogy

*57. ____Select pallbearers

58. ____Select flowers

*59. ____Select music

60. ____Choose clothing for family

61. ____Prepare at home, including food for family and guests

62. ____Obtain extra chairs

63. ____Arrange transportation for family and guests, including planning funeral car list

64. ____Check and sign necessary papers for burial permit

*65. ____Provide vital statistics about deceased to funeral home

*66. ____Provide addresses and telephone numbers for relatives and friends

67. ____Answer innumerable sympathetic phone calls, messages, cards and letters

68. ____Meet and talk with funeral director, cemetery representative and clergy

69. ____Greet all friends and relatives who call

70. ____Arrange for meeting relatives who arrive from out-of-town at airport

71. ____Provide lodging for out-of-town relatives and friends

72. ____Make list of callers and floral tributes sent for mailing cards of thanks

*73. ____Arrange for special religious services

*74. ____Check will regarding special wishes

75. ____Order death certificate

76. ____Look after children

V. Notify As Soon As Possible

77. ____Doctor or doctors

78. ____Funeral home

79. ____Cemetery

80. ____All relatives

81. ____All friends

82. ____Employer of deceased

83. ____Employers of family members missing work

84. ____Pallbearers

85. ____Insurance agents (life, health and accident)

86. ____Religious, fraternal, civic, veterans organizations, unions and deceased’s social media accounts

87. ____Newspapers regarding notices

88. ____Attorney, accountant or executor of estate

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Pre-Planning Checklist

January 12, 2026

Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be overwhelming to your surviving family and friends, but pre-planning your funeral service can help them better deal with the stress of losing someone. Choose the Type of Service You Want Pre-planning your funeral service can not only ease the burden on your loved ones, but it helps ensure your final wishes are honored. While some families struggle with making those final decisions after losing someone, your family won’t have to worry with making those hard choices. Choose what funeral home and director you would like to use to handle your service. Decide what type of service you want (traditional, cremation, donation, etc…). If you choose a traditional service with burial, decide where you want to be buried. Meet with the funeral director and look at your options for caskets and urns. If you decide you want to be buried, choose clothing options. Look at options for a location to hold your service (funeral home, religious facility, sentimental building, graveside). What type of flowers do you want? Do you want flowers, or would you rather donations be given to a particular charity or a charity of one’s choice? Who will be a part of your service? You should decide on pallbearers and even ask them personally. You should also decide who you would like to officiate or participate in your service. Choose which songs you would like played at your service. Write an obituary or make notes about information you would like to be included in your obituary. Choose Who You Want to be in Charge Your family and friends want to take part in the process of fulfilling your final wishes, they only need instructions on what they need to do. Make sure someone, preferably your executor, has a copy of the will. Give a family member or chosen friend a list of important account information that will need to be contacted and handled following your death. Also make sure someone knows your final wishes for your desired service. Designate someone to be your power of attorney. Have someone prepared to cancel basic utility services and subscriptions. Choose To Pay In Advance Making decisions about your funeral service in advance can benefit you and your survivors financially. If possible, pay for all expenses in advance, freeing your family from that financial burden. When possible, pre pay for: Cemetery services, burial plot All funeral arrangements including casket, urn, flowers, transportation and specialized services

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What to Wear to a Funeral Service

By Tukios Websites • July 24, 2025

Attending a funeral or memorial service can stir up many emotions, and for some, one of the first questions that comes to mind is: What should I wear? While traditions around funeral attire have evolved, dressing appropriately remains a way to show respect—for the person who has passed and for their loved ones. Whether the service is formal, casual, religious, or a celebration of life, here are a few thoughtful guidelines to help you choose what to wear. 1. Stick to Neutral, Conservative Colors Black is the traditional color of mourning in many cultures, but it's not your only option. Other respectful colors include navy, gray, deep green, brown, and muted tones. Avoid bright colors, loud patterns, or anything that draws unnecessary attention unless the family has requested otherwise. Tip: Some services may invite guests to wear the deceased’s favorite color or dress casually—check the obituary or invitation for guidance. 2. Dress Modestly and Neatly Funeral services are somber occasions, so choose clothing that is clean, pressed, and conservative: For women, options include a modest dress, blouse with slacks, or a skirt paired with a cardigan or blazer. For men, a dress shirt with slacks, a suit, or a sport coat with a tie is appropriate. 3. Footwear Matters, Too Choose closed-toe shoes that are comfortable, especially if you'll be standing or walking at a graveside service. Simple dress shoes, loafers, or flats work well. Avoid athletic sneakers or flip-flops unless the service is explicitly casual or outdoors. 4. Consider the Location and Weather The setting of the service can influence your outfit: For outdoor or graveside services, wear weather-appropriate clothing and shoes that can handle grass or gravel. Bring an umbrella or coat if needed. Dark outerwear is always a safe choice. In a place of worship, modest attire is often expected regardless of the season. 5. Keep Accessories Simple This is not the time for flashy jewelry or bold accessories. Choose understated items that won’t distract from the purpose of the gathering. 6. What About Children? Children should also be dressed neatly and conservatively. Simple outfits in neutral colors are best. If unsure, dress them as if attending a formal family event or church service. 7. When in Doubt, Dress Up a Bit It’s always better to be slightly overdressed than too casual at a funeral. If you’re unsure about the dress code, err on the side of formality. A respectful appearance helps convey sympathy and support. What you wear to a funeral doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive—but it should reflect care, humility, and consideration. Remember: your presence is what matters most

How to Plan a Funeral or Cremation

By Tukios Websites • July 14, 2025

Planning a funeral or cremation—whether for a loved one or preplanning for yourself—can feel overwhelming. There are many decisions to make, all while navigating the emotions that come with loss. But with a little preparation and guidance, the process can be meaningful, healing, and manageable. Whether you're planning ahead or handling arrangements after a loss, this guide walks you through the key steps of planning a funeral or cremation service. 1. Decide Between Burial and Cremation One of the first decisions to make is whether the individual will be buried or cremated. This choice often depends on personal, cultural, or religious preferences. Burial typically involves a casket, a graveside service, and a cemetery plot. Cremation may still include a funeral or memorial service and allows for more flexible options such as scattering, keeping an urn, or burying cremated remains. Some families choose direct cremation (without a service) or direct burial and hold a memorial at a later time. 2. Decide on the Type of Service There are many ways to honor a life, including: Traditional funeral service (usually with the body present) Memorial service (typically after cremation or burial) Celebration of life (a more personalized, informal event) Services can take place at the funeral home, a place of worship or outdoors. Choose what best reflects the person’s life and what brings comfort to those attending. 3. Select the Details You’ll want to personalize the service with details such as: Obituary and newspaper or online notices Casket or urn selection Music, readings, or spiritual elements Photos, videos, or displays of personal items Flowers or charitable donation options Who will speak, perform, or participate Many families also choose to include military honors, religious traditions, or cultural customs. 4. Consider Final Resting Place Options For burials: Choose a cemetery and purchase a plot if one isn’t already owned Decide on a headstone or grave marker For cremation: Decide whether ashes will be kept, scattered, buried, or placed in a niche Some families divide ashes among keepsake urns or jewelry 5. Handle Legal and Practical Matters Don’t forget the necessary paperwork: Obtain a death certificate (you may need multiple copies) Notify Social Security and financial institutions Handle wills, trusts, and estate matters If applicable, coordinate with veterans’ services or insurance providers Funeral directors can help guide you through most of this, but having documents organized in advance can ease the burden. 6. Consider Preplanning Preplanning your own arrangements relieves your loved ones of decision-making during an emotional time. You can: Specify burial or cremation preferences Choose the type of service and location Prepay or set aside funds Record personal touches you’d like included Preplanning ensures your wishes are followed—and it brings peace of mind to everyone involved. While planning a funeral or cremation is never easy, it is an opportunity to reflect, remember, and celebrate a life. Whether you’re planning for the future or coping with a loss today, take each step at your own pace, and don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals or trusted loved ones for support.