Memorial services after cremation
Memorial services after cremation are becoming quite common, but you may never have been involved in planning one before. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Timing
A memorial service can be held any point after cremation, since there is no time pressure of burying the body at a cemetery. Some families choose to have a service within a few days of the death, while others may wait a few weeks or even months.
There are advantages to holding the service quickly. It allows family and friends to gather during the difficult time immediately following the loss to comfort and support one another. It can be strange to go right back to daily life after losing someone you love. A service doesn’t necessarily bring closure, but it is an important milestone along your journey, marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

On the other hand, having a service a few weeks or months after the death allows you time to plan a meaningful service without rushing through the details. You have more flexibility for selecting a venue and arranging travel schedules for out-of-town guests.
Location
A memorial service may be held anywhere large enough to accommodate your guests. This might include a church, our funeral home, a banquet hall, restaurant, club or park. Make sure you keep weather in mind when considering an outdoor location.
Formality
A memorial service can be as formal as you want it to be. The tone of a service tends to be set by the location, officiant, type of music played, religious elements, etc. A memorial service that includes a sharing time among the guests tends to be less formal in nature.
Officiant
An officiant guides you and your guests through the various aspects of the service. This person could be a minister, celebrant or friend of the family. If you do not have a minister or anyone in mind, our staff can make a recommendation. An officiant should typically be given an honorarium by the family for their efforts.
Elements of a service
- Here are some common elements of a memorial service:
- Video tribute with family photos
- Special music (live or recorded)
- Remarks about the life of the deceased
- A time of sharing memories by guests
- Readings of poetry or religious texts
- Prayers
- Display of photos, awards, memorabilia
- Handout with the order of service and obituary
Other ideas include:
- Dove or butterfly release
- Balloon release by guests
- Catered or potluck meal
- Candle lighting ceremony
- Favors for guests (packet of seeds, ribbon to wear, or other keepsake)
The important thing to remember is that a memorial service is to celebrate and honor the life of your loved one, and allow you to feel the support of family, friends and the community in your time of loss.
Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be overwhelming to your surviving family and friends, but pre-planning your funeral service can help them better deal with the stress of losing someone.  Choose the Type of Service You Want Pre-planning your funeral service can not only ease the burden on your loved ones, but it helps ensure your final wishes are honored. While some families struggle with making those final decisions after losing someone, your family won’t have to worry with making those hard choices. Choose what funeral home and director you would like to use to handle your service. Decide what type of service you want (traditional, cremation, donation, etc…). If you choose a traditional service with burial, decide where you want to be buried. Meet with the funeral director and look at your options for caskets and urns. If you decide you want to be buried, choose clothing options. Look at options for a location to hold your service (funeral home, religious facility, sentimental building, graveside). What type of flowers do you want? Do you want flowers, or would you rather donations be given to a particular charity or a charity of one’s choice? Who will be a part of your service? You should decide on pallbearers and even ask them personally. You should also decide who you would like to officiate or participate in your service. Choose which songs you would like played at your service. Write an obituary or make notes about information you would like to be included in your obituary. Choose Who You Want to be in Charge Your family and friends want to take part in the process of fulfilling your final wishes, they only need instructions on what they need to do. Make sure someone, preferably your executor, has a copy of the will. Give a family member or chosen friend a list of important account information that will need to be contacted and handled following your death. Also make sure someone knows your final wishes for your desired service. Designate someone to be your power of attorney. Have someone prepared to cancel basic utility services and subscriptions. Choose To Pay In Advance Making decisions about your funeral service in advance can benefit you and your survivors financially. If possible, pay for all expenses in advance, freeing your family from that financial burden. When possible, pre pay for: Cemetery services, burial plot All funeral arrangements including casket, urn, flowers, transportation and specialized services
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Attending a funeral or memorial service can stir up many emotions, and for some, one of the first questions that comes to mind is: What should I wear? While traditions around funeral attire have evolved, dressing appropriately remains a way to show respect—for the person who has passed and for their loved ones. Whether the service is formal, casual, religious, or a celebration of life, here are a few thoughtful guidelines to help you choose what to wear. 1. Stick to Neutral, Conservative Colors Black is the traditional color of mourning in many cultures, but it's not your only option. Other respectful colors include navy, gray, deep green, brown, and muted tones. Avoid bright colors, loud patterns, or anything that draws unnecessary attention unless the family has requested otherwise. Tip: Some services may invite guests to wear the deceased’s favorite color or dress casually—check the obituary or invitation for guidance. 2. Dress Modestly and Neatly Funeral services are somber occasions, so choose clothing that is clean, pressed, and conservative: For women, options include a modest dress, blouse with slacks, or a skirt paired with a cardigan or blazer. For men, a dress shirt with slacks, a suit, or a sport coat with a tie is appropriate. 3. Footwear Matters, Too Choose closed-toe shoes that are comfortable, especially if you'll be standing or walking at a graveside service. Simple dress shoes, loafers, or flats work well. Avoid athletic sneakers or flip-flops unless the service is explicitly casual or outdoors. 4. Consider the Location and Weather The setting of the service can influence your outfit: For outdoor or graveside services, wear weather-appropriate clothing and shoes that can handle grass or gravel. Bring an umbrella or coat if needed. Dark outerwear is always a safe choice. In a place of worship, modest attire is often expected regardless of the season. 5. Keep Accessories Simple This is not the time for flashy jewelry or bold accessories. Choose understated items that won’t distract from the purpose of the gathering. 6. What About Children? Children should also be dressed neatly and conservatively. Simple outfits in neutral colors are best. If unsure, dress them as if attending a formal family event or church service. 7. When in Doubt, Dress Up a Bit It’s always better to be slightly overdressed than too casual at a funeral. If you’re unsure about the dress code, err on the side of formality. A respectful appearance helps convey sympathy and support. What you wear to a funeral doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive—but it should reflect care, humility, and consideration. Remember: your presence is what matters most
Planning a funeral or cremation—whether for a loved one or preplanning for yourself—can feel overwhelming. There are many decisions to make, all while navigating the emotions that come with loss. But with a little preparation and guidance, the process can be meaningful, healing, and manageable. Whether you're planning ahead or handling arrangements after a loss, this guide walks you through the key steps of planning a funeral or cremation service. 1. Decide Between Burial and Cremation One of the first decisions to make is whether the individual will be buried or cremated. This choice often depends on personal, cultural, or religious preferences. Burial typically involves a casket, a graveside service, and a cemetery plot. Cremation may still include a funeral or memorial service and allows for more flexible options such as scattering, keeping an urn, or burying cremated remains. Some families choose direct cremation (without a service) or direct burial and hold a memorial at a later time. 2. Decide on the Type of Service There are many ways to honor a life, including: Traditional funeral service (usually with the body present) Memorial service (typically after cremation or burial) Celebration of life (a more personalized, informal event) Services can take place at the funeral home, a place of worship or outdoors. Choose what best reflects the person’s life and what brings comfort to those attending. 3. Select the Details You’ll want to personalize the service with details such as: Obituary and newspaper or online notices Casket or urn selection Music, readings, or spiritual elements Photos, videos, or displays of personal items Flowers or charitable donation options Who will speak, perform, or participate Many families also choose to include military honors, religious traditions, or cultural customs. 4. Consider Final Resting Place Options For burials: Choose a cemetery and purchase a plot if one isn’t already owned Decide on a headstone or grave marker For cremation: Decide whether ashes will be kept, scattered, buried, or placed in a niche Some families divide ashes among keepsake urns or jewelry 5. Handle Legal and Practical Matters Don’t forget the necessary paperwork: Obtain a death certificate (you may need multiple copies) Notify Social Security and financial institutions Handle wills, trusts, and estate matters If applicable, coordinate with veterans’ services or insurance providers Funeral directors can help guide you through most of this, but having documents organized in advance can ease the burden. 6. Consider Preplanning Preplanning your own arrangements relieves your loved ones of decision-making during an emotional time. You can: Specify burial or cremation preferences Choose the type of service and location Prepay or set aside funds Record personal touches you’d like included Preplanning ensures your wishes are followed—and it brings peace of mind to everyone involved. While planning a funeral or cremation is never easy, it is an opportunity to reflect, remember, and celebrate a life. Whether you’re planning for the future or coping with a loss today, take each step at your own pace, and don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals or trusted loved ones for support.
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